Updated: Jun 8
It's very important to have a relationship with God. I can't imagine how my life would be without Him. I came a long way with my health and who would have known the "repeat," would be a part of my testimony.
I know I have touched on my health in the past, but I never went into details. I often ask myself why don't l like sharing my story? I have more than one answer but the one that sticks out the most is, "Would people really understand?" A person's life just isn't a movie, or some script being read aloud, It's a testimony. One that is personal and one that is meaningful.
I explained about my first experience with the tumor before and how life changing going through something like that is. Learning to walk, memorize and multitask all over again is traumatizing and a place in my life, I will never forget. I spent years after that trying to have a normal life but what's really normal when none of us are the same? I had to learn to live without my support system, don't get me wrong, I have family and friends, but living and figuring things out without my mom and grandparents hit differently. They were my biggest cheerleaders and part of the reason I made it this far in life today.
October 2020, I go for a normal routine MRI and what do you know, my results do not come back well. The devastation I felt hit me all over again but this time, I didn't have my mom to lean on.
It took a while but after my mom passed, I had moved back in her house, and I was finishing up my degree in Business Administration and my Philosophy class was killing me! I was dating and really trying to pull things together with the renovations I was making to her house. Things had really turned around for me in regard to how I was recuperating due to my brain surgery, but that was to be expected. I struggled with gaining weight and packing on the pounds seemed almost impossible. Every 6 months I was expected to have a MRI and for years, I was back and forth at the doctors making sure everything was good.
October 2020, I go for a normal routine MRI and what do you know, my results do not come back well. The devastation I felt hit me all over again but this time, I didn't have my mom to lean on. I could have dropped the phone when my doctor broke the news. I was literally sitting at my computer desk preparing for midterms when my doctor told me. I was able to ask a few questions but between being shocked and broken hearted there wasn't much I could say. We chose a date for me to have radiation and ended the call. I could remember starring at my computer screen in disbelief trying to focus but couldn't.
As I was preparing for my second attempt to get rid of this tumor, I found out I was pregnant which caused me to be a high-risk pregnancy due to my health situation. To make matters worse, the doctor I was seeing was pressuring me to abort but that was NOT happening! I was originally supposed to have radiation February of 2022 but because I was pregnant, I had to have it afterwards.
Every time the doctor's called to see when I was coming in, I pushed the date further and further back. I rejected the fact of having them pick at my brain again. I was tired, done and over it.
I had my Love Bug June 14, 2021, and my heart had never felt so much joy while experiencing a broken heart at the same time. I had lost my grandmother a few months earlier and I was still going through the motions with that. Feeling a lone with children can leave you feeling jacked up and the last thing I was think about was having radiation. I won't lie, I put it off with no real plans of having it. Every time the doctor's called to see when I was coming in, I pushed the date further and further back. I rejected the fact of having them pick at my brain again. I was tired, done and over it. Once August hit, I gave in and had the radiation and glory be to God because when I went back for my follow up MRI, everything was looking good. All the praying my family and prayer warriors did the good Lord heard because I can tell you now, I didn't care what the outcome would have been had I not gotten it. The fact that I was blessed with another child meant I had something to live for-my daughter gave me new life. It is because of her that I went. I wanted to see my child grow up, experience and live life. She was a blessing and one that I'm glad to be around to see.