I never asked to be a single mother but because it is the hand that I am delt, it is the hand that I will play, and I play to win. I have endured, sacrificed, rearranged, and gave up many of things to make sure caring for my daughter is nothing but a success. Trust me when I say, I have learned my lesson on getting pregnant by the wrong guy but letting that be my downfall…is something I’m not going to settle for-at all.
My journey as a single mother has not been a walk in the park and I don’t mind sharing that with anyone. I have children that I am raising, a household that I am maintaining alone and a career that I am managing. I don’t like to dwell on my past because every decision I have made, I have made consciously. Growing up in a single parent household taught me that no matter what is happening, the goal is to always come out on top. I have seen both my mother and grandmother do a good job striving to provide for their household gracefully and with pose and I will do the same. Due to my situation, I now know what it's like to strategically move with children and finish with a homerun. I will not sugar coat or lie; I honestly did not think I could make it through this journey without the major support I needed, but jokes on me I see. The guy I called myself dating made it very clear he did not want to father anymore children and to make matters worse, it wasn’t just me affected by his life choices but his daughter’s as well. His own personal drama is something I am not interested in entertaining and so I won’t. When I found out I was pregnant, I was ten classes away from my degree and once again… I had to pause school. I was dealing with emotional baggage, and I just really wanted to unpack it all, heal and move forward. Like many other parents who struggle with this type of weight, I could have easily given up but instead, I make each move I make count.
When I had love bug, I told myself she deserves to see me succeed, her and my oldest daughter. My mom was a single parent and I refuse to continue that generational curse. I still have dreams, goals, and plans that I want to fulfill, and I’ve decided to let nothing stop me, not even having another child. I slowly began to piece together a bigger support system and restructure my life plan. Finishing school is still on my list of things to complete so I’m going part time, but all year round. I personally don’t like taking online classes but where I’m at in my life, it’s certainly a smart move to make. I planted my feet in the field of helping other parents fulfil their dreams while persevering through parenthood and it’s something I enjoy doing every day. On top of all the changes I’ve been making to ensure a better life for my children and I, my other projects are still being developed and it’s a beautiful thing watching them come to life. To see my vision through, I had to cut off and distance myself from a few people but that is to be expected. I got myself more involved in the community and even found a new church home for my children and I to visit. Not only that, but I have aligned myself with the right people that are not just beneficial but are able to help push my vision forward. I have become pleased in where I’m at in life and as more doors open for me, the better my children and I future are secure.
I put in long days and long nights, but I am very careful at how I balance everything. My oldest daughter has now made the basketball team and attending her games has made my schedule even tighter. I’m a busy mom but trust me when I say…I know as a fact that everything that I am doing will pay off. As my coworker would say, ‘stay the course.’ The pieces to my puzzle have fallen back into place even with an addition to my family. I have people around that have stepped up to help me with Love Bug so I can continue making things possible. I choose to make being a single parent work for me and just because I find myself with my back against the wall at times, doesn’t mean I have to fold. I’m pushing forward with making things happen so my children can have better in life, and I do it because they deserve it. I must say, even though my Love Bug doesn’t have the type of relationship I desire for her to have with her dad, I gave the situation my best shot. Everything happens for a reason, and I must trust the process because the door I once had open for him to make things right, is now closed until he truly makes the decision to be a part of his daughter’s life.