For The Love Of Joy

Updated: Aug 20, 2021

Losing your mom hits you hard. It takes away a part of you that you can never get back. Loosing your grandmother is something completely different. It leaves you lifeless.



Have you ever been on top of the world and then suddenly-you fall? You just don't fall, I mean you crash! Full force and super fast. Last year we learned that my grandmother had a skin cancer called Metastatic Melanoma that reached her brain. Everything in me went numb when I learned that. I can remember being at work when I heard the news, crying and throwing up in my department's garbage can. I had already lost my mom two and a half years ago and healing has been a struggle and this situation with my grandmother... literally put me in a place that was not only lonely but dark. This is my grandma we are talking about! The one who took care of me and helped raised me when my mother wasn't able to. She was all I had left and I was watching her transition right out of this world.


Talk about having a tough pill to swallow. I was pregnant, grieving, making the best of life and trying hard to be totally prepared for my next move. Hell, I could never forget that day, March 17, 2021 when my cousin called at 4:01am. Even though COVID was still affecting everyone, the hospice hospital we chose to have my grandmother at allowed one overnight visitor per night. God bless them. We all knew what was happening and none of us wanted my grandma to be alone. It was rough, we all were trying to say our goodbyes but we made it happen. I can remember screaming and waking everyone in the house up, yelling we had to go and just like that, my cousins and I darted out the house to be with our sweet Joy.


When we arrived, we went straight to her window, chairs and all. Seeing my grandma looking beautiful with her hands crossed and a white flower by her, reminded me of how classy she was. My grandmother did everything like a lady. Even when she told you off, it was with such style and grace. She had a beautiful head scarf and fresh gown on. Yesssssss! The nurses at the hospice hospital did well by her. Had her looking good! Within an hour it seemed like my entire family was there and we all sat outside until the funeral home came and got her. We made the best of being outside in the cold; Coffee, donuts and coco, tears, quiet moments and laughter filled our cars. By the time the funeral home arrived, it was pushing well after 9am but every moment with her that I could spend, I was going to take. We all were.


After my mom died, my grandma was never the same. It was like apart of her had died as well and we could all feel it.

This change in my life was one I knew was coming; I tried to prepare myself for it but when it came, I still experienced the hurt and pain a hard blow can give you. After my mom died, my grandma was never the same. It was like apart of her had died as well and we could all feel it. I took off work to prep and get ready for the funeral. One thing my grandma always said was, "Ya'll better have me looking good." and that's exactly what we did. Sharp, from head to toe. Her home going was beautiful! My uncle and aunt had doves released and we laid her peacefully right next to her husband-grandpa Sunny. Even though she would never meet Aniya physically, I wanted my grandma to somehow always be with my daughter, so I added to her name. Not only did she have my moms middle name but my grandmother's first name as well. Yes world, get ready to meet Aniya Joycelyn Denise Cobbin. Milly talks about how long her name is all the time but who cares, it's a name that will touch everybody's heart once it's heard.





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